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newer-older-profile-gbook-notes- e-mail-dland the disenchantment ages 04.03.02 at 11:26 pm 0 comments so far hey, hold up. my disenchantment has eased. i'm excited about my aging in america class. i think it will have valuable information regarding my education and academia as well as my overall development as a human being. yeahyeahyeah. during class i was struck with the thought that dying is not so much about death, but about living. or learning how to live. or maybe it's that death is not about dying but living. something like that. maybe because so many people, including myself, are fearful of death. or maybe it's the process of dying that i'm afraid of. however, the two aren't mutually exclusive�a combination of both, perhaps. i have now given virtually everyone online the link to this journal. it's like me coming out in a multifaceted way. like there's at least one thing on here that one can learn about me. it's like being up front without having to feel exposed. or that's how i see it. but everyone knows i'm dillusional. i don't know where my next writing [during class] fits in with the grand schema, but maybe we'll figure it out someday. aging in america 04.03.02 5.25 pm i have a scab in my ear, and scabs in my nose. hot. this requires me to be assertive�to tell people what i want. this is about pleasing myself. this is about puting a name to the face�what i am. �confronting the issue. �destroying assumptions. ��i am not a lesbian. this is queer. this is what i am about. and what i seek/strive to discover in others/myself/the world. this is about me learning how to speak up again. to forget or, rather, relearn listening�turning my listening into my empowerment. this is me remembering "the" struggle and learning my survival.
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