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newer-older-profile-gbook-notes- e-mail-dland really packing. 03.27.02 at 11:45 pm 0 comments so far so the packing begins again. something happens to me when i pack, i think...yes, that's it, i think. i think about all my shit...how it burdens me, and how i'll never use it, and what my belongings say about me. what i should bring with me, in terms of what it will relay about who/what i am. i think about the future, of course, in terms of how my things will fit in. i think about my past, and how i got here, how i used to like certain belongings. i'm having a g-reat conversation with a boy who's seeing eye to eye with me on so many gender ideal/s. so it's really getting me going. although, my packing's not getting done. i got my cousin to come out. i did it by telling her that i'm queer. and she's so fearful of being found out. she's completely internalized what the family expects of her. she made me promise, maybe twenty times, not to tell anyone, not even my other [gay] cousin. but i told kanako that now i have three queer relatives...and she was jealous so i told her we could share mine. i got sharpie on my new khakis tonight. cry me a river. yes, this is the worlds smallest violin. i get it. so tonight i'm feeling like i'm going to stick with cal and i think male pronouns...and western will be a g-reat opportunity for me to try it out. today i'm feeling daring, i think that's why i'm [in my mind] more assertive. that and being more assertive on the internet, which is so woohoo fucking daring. but maybe i'll build up to being a rock star. |